Finals of the 2023 NCAA Tournment

Awards!

How I won this thing is beyond me. My prize? A fantasy after the past couple years of Wildcat futility would be a #1 ranked incoming class featuring four McDonald’s All Americans including the MVP of the McDonald’s game


This just in: Dreams come true!

 

The MVP burger boy is D.J. Wagner. He’s a third generation McDonald’s All American. His grandfather, Milt Wager, led Louisville to three Final Fours and the national title in 1986. His Dad, Dajuan Wagner, may be the first one-and-done. He played one season for Calipari at Memphis in 2002. Then Cal revoked his scholarship to force him to move on to the NBA. All three generations of Wagners attended Camden High School in New Jersey. Dajuan, who averaged over 42 points a game in his senior year of high school, is considered by many to be the greatest player ever to emerge from the storied Jersey prep scene.

 

D.J. is Dajuan Wagner Jr. but goes by his initials for obvious reasons. D.J. is a protype Calipari guard. You can’t keep him out of the lane and he finishes through contact. D.J. Wagner will be the first three generation player in the NBA, when he declares for the draft in 2024 after leading undefeated Kentucky to the title.

 

In fairness, I should mention that Justin Edwards, the 6’7” scoring wing out of North Philly, blew up this season. Several recruiting services have moved Edwards past Wagner at the top of their rankings. Guess what? UK got him too!

 

D.J. Wagner is a teammate of Aaron Bradshaw, a 7’0” rim protector. He’s ranked #4 in this class. And he’s on his way to Lexington next season!

 

The #11 player in the class is another slashing guard, Robert Dillingham, who unwisely signed up to play his senior season for Kanye’s Donda Academy, which fell apart after Kanye started spouting antisemitic nonsense. So, Dillingham was not eligible for the McDonald’s game.


The fourth Kentucky signee in the McDonald’s game was Reed Sheppard, son of Jeff Sheppard (the MOP of the 1998 Final Four, won by Kentucky). This recruiting class covers all the bases and serves as a more than adequate prize for all the hoops that I have chronicled over the past month.

Louisville hired Kenny Payne to coach their men's team last year. He hired Milt Wagner, a teammate at Louisville back in the day, as an assistant. Louisville fans were convinced that they were getting D.J., which was just adorable.

An unprecedented three-way tie for second place among Mary, Fair and Utsav. Your prize is an all-expense paid trip to the Sunshine State, which placed two teams in the Final Four. Get ready for a fun-filled weekend in Lake City, Florida!

Lake City touts itself as the Gateway to Florida because highways I-75 and I-10 intersect there. So, it’ll be easy to find! It’s only a 90-minute drive to Jacksonville Beach. Evidently, the water there is brown due to salt-marsh turbidity created by the St. Johns River. According to the Jacksonville Chamber of Commerce, the characteristic brown water definitely has nothing to do with pollution from the nearby city of Jacksonville. But who needs the beach when you are in Lake City? I can assure you that the water in Alligator Lake is a naturalistic blue. According to the Lake City Chamber of Commerce, alligator attacks are actually quite rare.

If you time it right, you can attend the reenactment of the Battle of Olustee, the most significant Civil War battle in Florida. Then again, you would be celebrating a battle won by the Confederates. Moving on….to the Heartwood Soundstage, where you can enjoy a show by 90s jangle pop band Sister Hazel. You’ll remember their song All for You, probably, and you’ll probably enjoy all their other songs too. You Zoomers may prefer new country musician and social media influencer Megan Moroney. You know her song, Tennessee Orange, right? [Editor’s Note: I didn’t. I listened. She makes Florida Georgia Line seem authentic. Back to the Notes.]

You can’t leave town without checking out the local cuisine, which includes virtually all the popular roadside eateries: Cracker Barrel, Olive Garden, Texas Roadhouse, Ruby Tuesday, they’ve got it all! 

Megan Moroney: her music is as vacuous as her expression.

Historic downtown Lake City, where nondescript is a feature not a bug.

We booked you a room in the whimsical Mona Lisa hotel. We didn't predict a tie and the budget only allowed for one room. The motelier assures me that a second roll out will fit in the bathroom.

Alligator Lake, now featuring 30% fewer unprovoked reptile attacks.

Final Tourney Thoughts

The Nephew was over for the Finals. His favorite play of the game? The Hawkins blown dunk at the start of the second half.

When the Aztecs cut it to five, it looked like The Host (from down the shore) was going to hit it big. A UConn fan, he would cash in on another tourney pool (one that gives out actual prizes and in cash) but only if SDS covered the spread. They did not.

UConn was a 4-seed, but they were actually great all season if you ignored January (when they went 3-5). The selection committee did not forget the Ides of January. Perhaps they should have focused more on how the Huskies finished the season. 

UConn's Tristen Newton is the only senior on their roster. Their only true pro prospect, Jordan Hawkins, is a sophomore. His draft stock is all over the map. Some services have moved him into the lottery after his turn on the big stage; some have him in second round. Most see him as a late first rounder, which is probably enough to lure him away from school. Sanogo will be back. Ditto Clingan. They both have to prove that they can shoot consistently from the outside. Point is, UConn should have most of their team available again next year. Given their history, they'll probably end up missing the 2024 tourney entirely.

That buzzer beater aganist Miami was fun, but I cannot forgive the putrid performance the Aztecs displayed in the Finals. If they ran an actual offensive play, I missed it.

I'm really glad that I found time to watch the women over the weekend. Great games, high level play, trash talk, a unicorn sighting, the sartorial splendor of Kim Mulkey. Speaking of which, Mulkey is clearly a polarizing person. She clearly leans to the right politically. She has a strained relationship with her former player, Britney Griner, but that doesn't necessarily make her a homophobe (the popular accusation since the Finals). Griner is a proud gay woman and she can go to school wherever she likes. That said, the ultra-conservative Baylor was perhaps an odd choice. Bear in mind that when Griner attended Baylor homosexual behavior was classified as sexual misconduct. I don't know why anyone would want to go there, personally. And did I mention that it's in Waco, Texas?

We covered the trash talk Angel Reese aimed at Caitlin Clark after the title game on Sunday. It wasn't gracious but it wasn't the international incident that Twitter tried to turn it into either. Clark, wisely, claimed she hadn't noticed even though Reese was right in her face. Because Clark is one of the most notorious trash talkers in the game. She can dish it out and she can take it too.

This was the last tournament for Houston native Jim Nantz. He is not retiring, however. He will continue his golf and NFL duties for CBS. Nantz, who is only 63 years old, has been calling the Madness since 1990. He will be replaced by Ian Eagle.

Waco, Texas at night. Just kidding; that's the moon.

West Texas. I'd rather live on the moon.

An Improbable Title

The Trophy is Heading to Storrs!

SDS was lucky to only be down 12 at the half, 36-24. Has a team had a more futile scoring first half in the Finals? UConn, actually, who only managed 19 against Butler in 2011. Bulter only scored 22 in that one - an inverse classic.

The Aztecs had nothing on the offensive end. If you don't run plays, you go over 10 minutes without a field goal. UConn played good D, but SDS has no one who can get their own shot. How did they make it to this game?

The Aztecs hit a few shots a the end of the first to keep things from getting out of hand. They delayed the inevitable. I expect things to get ugly the second.

It was a second half only a Husky could love. UConn did not blow the game open. In fact, UConn forgot that they have Sanogo on their team and allowed SDS to pull within five down the stretch. Then the Aztecs missed everything, including free throws, the rest of the game.

Connecticut wins going away, 75-59, holding SDS under 33% shooting from the field.

Two Huskies with double doubles. Sanogo (the MOP) with 17 and 10; Tristen Newton with 19 and 10. 

That's right, they are first cousins.

(Largest overall point differential for the tourney? Kentucky in 1996)

I Can't Quit the Women's Game

LSU Upsets Iowa

Unusual finals in the women's tourney. And I'm not talking about the suit worn by LSU coach Kim Mulkey. Mainly because unusual doesn't begin to describe that outfit.

The refs seemed determined to put their mark on this one. Three LSU starters, including star Angel Reese, were saddled with two fouls each in the first half. LSU's Jasmine Carson came off the bench firing - burying 3 after 3 including a bank shot as time expired in the first half. LSU poured in an incredible 59 points in the first stanza. LSU as a team hit 9/12 from deep in the first.

Iowa was down 21 with 8 minutes to go in the third. The thing is, LSU has a reputation for blowing big leads. Right on cue, Iowa stormed back to get within seven. Then the refs intervened. Iowa's big, Monika Czinano, was called for her fourth foul. Caitlin Clark retrieved the ball and flipped it behind her. The refs called a tech, which also counts as a foul. Clark's fourth. I watched the replay closely. Clark didn't say a word. No way should that have been a technical foul.

That took the wind out of the Hawkeyes sails, who ended up losing 102-85. Look, LSU was the better team today. No question. It's still a shame that the refs felt compelled to take center stage for themselves.

Increadible turnaround for LSU. Three years ago they won 9 games. They hired Kim Mulkey and immediately flipped to 26-6. This year, 34-2 and a national title. Kim Mulkey can wear whatever she likes. Respect.

Caitlin Clark, who had 30 in the title game, is not WNBA eligible.

Jill Biden attended the game with Billie Jean King.

This is poor form. Clark did something similar earlier in the tournament - that wasn't cool either.

Mulkey gets a little animated on the sideline.